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Showing posts with label lesbian_love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lesbian_love. Show all posts

Thursday, June 16, 2011

"Wedding Diaries: A Lesbian Love Story"....



















Guest Blogger: Missi Smith


"Wedding Diaries: A Lesbian Love Story" - ENTRY #1


Well, we have a tentative date for our commitment ceremony. June of 2012 is the magical time. We started discussing this about a year ago and the more we discussed it the more stressful it became. Who do we invite? Where do we have our ceremony? Where can we find a beautiful inexpensive venue? What time do we have the ceremony? Will out of town quests be able to come? If so, where will they stay? What about transportation….and flowers…and the cake? What colors will we have? What will we wear?


As you can see there are a lot of unanswered questions and it got so overwhelming that I didn’t even want to start the process of planning!!



Some months have passed and we suddenly realized that this is "OUR day" and we should plan it like "WE want it". Not plan it around everyone else. So, we have started the process of planning and now I’m really excited about it!



We are on a tight (very tight) budget, as I have had a major job change in the last few months. That won’t stop us from having the beautiful romantic ceremony that we want!


I will be writing this blog to help organize my thoughts and keep my sanity during this process. I hope everyone enjoys it and if you have comments and/or suggestions please feel free to become part of the discussion!


My first entry for the blog is rather negative, but please stick with me, they will not all be this way. In looking for local upcoming bridal shows I stumbled across a website called www.iwantmyfreewedding.com where you can enter a contest to win a free wedding! Well, heck yeah I want a free wedding! The contest requires that you submit a 250 word or less Essay of your love story and why you feel you should be the winners of the “I want my free wedding” ultimate unity celebration wedding contest, along with a photo.



“I can do that” I thought. So I read on to determine the qualifications…this is where I got irritated.



The other qualifications are:


-Must be 18 years or older
-US Citizen
-Legally able to obtain a marriage license in the
perspective city and or state where the contest is held.



Really? You want to hear my love story and see a photo of my partner and I ….unless we are lesbians. In which case we can’t get a legal marriage license in Dallas, therefore we are disqualified.

I have never understood why there are so many rules on love and who we love. The contest has since ended and I congratulate the bride and groom that won and wish them happily ever after!



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Friday, June 10, 2011

"How Far Would You Go for Love?"

Today with internet dating websites everywhere and love being only a click away...when is it time to move closer to your long-distance sweetheart? Before you rent that Uhaul to move across the country, here are a few things to consider...


















1. If you move and the relationship doesn’t work out, are you going to resent your partner?

If that risk seems too great for you — if the idea of making such a big sacrifice without experiencing the payoff you’re hoping for leaves you feeling bitter and regretful — you probably aren’t quite ready to make that leap.


2. Have you discussed a long-term future together?

You need to discuss a long-term, serious commitment together, uprooting your life and moving to a new city is probably premature. You both need to imagine a life together at least five years in the future and not be freaked out by that idea before you start packing your bags.


3. Is the new city one you can picture yourself being happy in?

Is it a gay friendly city? First, you need to accept that love doesn’t conquer all. There’s a good chance you’re going to be miserable there, if you move in too quickly. If you aren’t sure how you feel, spend your vacation time — a week or two if you’ve got it — “playing house” at your significant other’s place and trying to imagine how you’d feel if you never left.


4. Do you have a back-up plan?

What happens if you make the move and things, for whatever reason, don’t work out? You can’t possibly anticipate every issue that might arise, nor should you be able to answer all these questions exactly, but you should have some idea what your back-up plan would be if you realize the move was a mistake.


5. Do you have job prospects in the new city?

Anyone who has ever been unemployed for very long can attest to how depressing it is to be out of work. Add to that the isolation you will likely feel being in a new town where maybe you don’t know many people other than your significant other, and it can be super damn lonely. Make sure you have a job once you move in case it does not work out so you will be financially able to move out on if necessary.


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Wednesday, June 8, 2011

"STUDS....Is She Right For You?"

Tired of the dating game? Do you want to be with the woman of your dreams? Believe me, she's out there. Is your girlfriend a keeper or should you just sweep her away? Before you take her home to meet mom, here are a few ways to help you decide if she is "THE ONE"!



















1. You deserve Someone to Love You Unconditionally

If you have to buy her love or you are always taking her out...never staying home. That's a red flag! If she really cares, sometimes she will pay or sometimes a "RED BOX" night is perfectly OK... Make sure she into you and not what you can give her...


2. Independence is Sexy

Women who have balanced lives, interests of their own and who don't depend on you are the ones who can anyone they want. Make sure she can stand on her own two feet... That she wants you and doesn't need you... Studs often want a woman to depend on them but you also need to know you can depend on her... Ride or die...Or don't apply!!!!


3. She will give You Space & Freedom

Another requirement of a femme you want to wife up is she will give you space to pursue outside interests. Relationships should not be like a 7-Eleven, open 24/7. Clinginess is the quickest route to relationship disasters. Too much space could be a sign of rockiness in relationships, from a lack of love, interest or attraction, but freedom allows studs to grow as individuals and gives them breathing room, which will be much appreciated.


4. She Stays Calm

There is no reason for studs to be afraid that their girlfriends will freak out on a daily basis. The two scenarios we hate the most: women crying for no reason, and women acting suspicious. A stud wants femme that will trust them. No one wants to be questioned and interrogated by the people that supposedly love them. If she constantly goes through your cell phone or doesn't allow you to have a boys night out...then get out and don't look back.

5. She's One Of The Guys

NOTHING IS HOTTER!!! Studs look for women who not only complement them but share their interests as well. If she's going to be your best friend, then why not do things that you enjoy together? Monday Night Football can be a great activity for two, if you're both interested in it or taking a dance class... It can't be a one-way street...Love is about sacrifice and compromise...


6. Sex is Always An Adventure with Her

Some women think that as long as they have sex from time to time, that is enough. But, a great sexual relationship should not be one-sided; you both need to make an effort to keep it exciting! When she gives up on sex...that is not a good sign. If that's the case, boredom will set in very quickly. If femmes keep studs guessing, they'll come back for more -- always. Of course, studs have to keep their woman happy too. Remember, it takes two to tango. Just always remember to dance... Loving her more and more each day or becoming a couple...will only intensify your connection!

7. Opposites Attract But Likes Stay Together

Be Honest with yourself. Ask yourself if you can give this woman what she needs in a partner. Ask her what she wants out of her life and compare that to what your aspirations are. A lot people get together and find out they have absolutely nothing in common with the person they're with. Usually a breakup is on the horizon when you make this discovery.


8. You've had Enough Time to Find Out

Everyone knows the lesbian joke..a movie and a Uhaul...Sometimes times people meet, find serious chemistry and jump into a serious relationship too soon. This is not a good idea. Ideally you should know your girl for at least a year before moving in with her; and for at least two years before marrying. The reason for this is because it's impossible to think of all the things to ask someone in a short amount of time, and also because you need to see them at their best and their worst. You need to see them when their bored and when they are sort of sick of your face in the morning. In short, you need to replicate what it will be like if you get serious before you take serious steps...

9. Your Friends and Family Think She Is...

This will not always be the case... You know if you have a crazy undependable family but getting along with the people that are important to you...is critical!!! These are people that know you and care about you and can see that you are blinded by love. And the truth is, despite everything you may think you know or feel about love, long lasting relationships endure mainly because the two parties involved are not just in love, but are in like as well. Think about it. If you are going to wake up every morning with someone, talk to them, be with them. Eat with them. And all the other things couples do on a regular daily basis, you better darn will really like them a lot...

10. You think of Her Needs before Your Own

This one's a little tricky, but it does make sense in the end. Say something comes up, like you need or want something and so does she. What are your immediate thoughts on a resolution? Do you try to figure out a way to talk her into your way of seeing things, or jump to the other side to see how you can best accommodate her needs? People that are truly ready for a long term commitment choose the latter. And this does include your girl as well.




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5 THINGS EVERY STUD SHOULD KNOW ABOUT HOW A FEMME THINKS....

Thank you ladies for the feedback! Fellas, do you sometimes feel you and your girl are speaking a different language? Do you wonder what makes her tick? From telling you how to dress to wanting you to wife her up, here's what you need to know about a femme's minds.




















1. Focused on the Problem at Hand

Femme's don't always need a stud to fix it, while they enjoy your perspective and sometimes may pull from your advice, they are capable of solving most problems. Sometimes they just need you to listen. Not to offer any advice, not to inject an opinion...simply to listen.

2. Hard-Wired to be Suspicious

Studs may feel they are simply admiring another girl's beauty but in a femme's mind...you are disrespecting her...when you check out a girl in her presence. By checking out another girl, you plant a seed of suspension. Femmes doesn't mind you looking...but don't look too long and never comment on it...because to a femme needs to know she is all you need... At the same time, femmes feel they have the right to look at other women because she is counting her blessing not comparing you to someone else... Your confidence in what you have with her...only makes her love you more... YES, SHE WANTS HER CAKE AND EAT IT TOO!


3. Nurturing by Nature

Femme's love their studs. Femmes want to do things to show their appreciation and concern. Often times "appreciation" is confused with "babying or even nagging"... Please understand she only wants the best for you. Stud's need to understand that to nurture is in a femme's DNA.

4. Do Not Need to be Rescued

Save the "captain save a hoe" routine for your jump off. Once you've made a femme your woman know that she is capable of doing anything that needs done. She wants you and doesn't need you. Femmes want studs to believe and understand...she's got your back. No, she doesn't want to get dirty by changing a tire or from mowing the lawn but if push came to shove...She's got it. Save the fairy tales for bedtime...

5. Loves to Feel Desired

Fellas, studs love to feel needed and femmes love to feel wanted... She doesn't spend hours getting ready just to annoy you. Fashion, shoes, pretty things make them feel sexy! A femme loves to feel pretty everyday and is why they love to shop...so they can look good for you... Like some studs will too much money on watches or on their car...femmes will spend whatever it takes to make sure they look good from head to toe...



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Tuesday, June 7, 2011

"12 THINGS A FEMME WANTS FROM A STUD BUT WON'T ASK"...

When you look for lifetime partner, what she wants in a woman is not the only thing that you should know. If you want a healthy relationship, you must also know what she wants but will never ask for in a relationship. Here are a few suggestions that may help you figure it out...











1. She really wants you to hangout with her and your friends together...

2. Kiss her unexpectedly. She wants to know how you feel without having to ask...

3. If it seems like there is something wrong, ask her- if she denies something being wrong, it means she doesnt want to talk about it – so just hug her...

4. Even if she looks bad one day...tell her she’s beautiful...

5. If there is hair in her face, move it out of her face and then kiss her...passionatley and gently...

6. Slow dance with no music. Give romance a chance...

7. Open doors for her, walk her to her car (without her asking) - it makes her feel protected, plus it never hurts to act like a gentleman...

8. Give her one of your sweatshirts. So you are always with her even if its just in spirit...

9. While in the movies, put your arm around her and then she will automatically put her head on your shoulder, then lean in and tilt her chin up and kiss her lightly...

10. Hold her hand in public...

11. Kiss her in the rain if you ever get the chance....

12. Take her shopping and don't complain about how long it takes...


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"LOVE GAMES... CAN YOU TRULY BE FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS?"



As it becomes increasingly harder to find the one, more single ladies are indulging in physical relationships with relatively fewer consequences; sex is now more casual than ever. The beauty of this situation is its simplicity -- if both sides are sincere going into this, then both will know that it's solely about sex. Using each other in a good way, however, may not be as easy as it sounds because removing all the emotional baggage from sex is hard especially if you started off as friends but potentially...sex with no strings attached can be very enjoyable.







1. “Is it possible to separate your feeling from sex?”


Usually this tends to back fire because one of you is going into this secretly hoping for more, then the problem of dishonesty arises, and that person is probably in for a nasty disappointment when it doesn't play out that way. It may be possible to separate your feelings from sex but if it goes on for too long then any human being is bound to start having feelings for their sex buddy. Keep it short!

2. “Keep you arrangement a secret.”


People are messy by nature. Don’t allow the judgment of others ruin your agreement. One of the keys to being successful friends with benefits agreement is to keep it discreet. Even if you're 100% sure no one would care, do the classy thing and keep it between you and her. Don't brag about the situation to outside friends.

3. “Set the ground rules from the beginning and know when to quit.”

One of you may become jealous if the other person starts dating someone else seriously. It can be very difficult to separate emotions from sex, but if you want to be friends with benefits, that is exactly what you have to steel yourself to do. Decide if one of you meets someone you want to date "seriously" then you should agree to stop having sex. This will set expectations and prevent one of you from being hurt down the line.


4. “Know you are risking your friendship.”

In the worst-case scenario, the blurring of the lines between friend and lover precipitated by being friends with benefits can ruin a friendship. Unfortunately, this is a fairly frequent outcome, because once you've crossed the physical line, the old dynamic between some friends is lost forever.

5. “Could harm your future relationship.”

Hooking up with friends can potentially hurt a future relationships with other women. If your current girlfriend finds out (and somehow, they always do) that you were intimate with one of your female friends, she will instantly become jealous and suspicious of your relationship with your friend/ex-lover.


It is always better to think it through before entering into a sexual relationship with anyone. Take a few proactive steps to make sure that the benefits don’t destroy the relationship.



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5 THINGS EVERY FEMME SHOULD KNOW ABOUT HOW STUDS THINK....

Do you ever wonder what your partner is thinking? Why does she reacts to the same situation differently? From her wandering eye to her desire to mate for life, here's what you need to know about a stud's minds.






1. Focused on Solutions

The empathy system of the stud's brain does respond when someone is upset or expressing a problem. But the "fix-it" region quickly takes over. As a result similar to men, studs tend to be more concerned with fixing a problem than showing empathy.

2. Hard-Wired to Check out Women

Medical research from Canada found that high testosterone (Some studs have shown increased levels) impairs the impulse-control region of the brain. Studs check out women as if on "auto-pilot." They often forget about the woman once she is out of their visual field.

3. Territorial

The "defend my turf" brain area is larger in studs than their femme counterparts. This means they are much more likely to become violent when faced with a threat to their love, life or territory.

4. Matures over Time

The two fundamental differences why studs mature much slower than femmes - for their entire lives they are mostly focused on the end result of an issue much more than they are the issue at hand. The second part is they often have short attention spans.

5. Need to Dominate

Most studs feel the need to be in charge (even if they aren't in charge). They want to feel that they are doing things because they want their partner to be happy, not because they have to do it.


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