"Why Do I Always Fall For Your Type?"...

"Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you...I had no control over”...


I am going to open up about a problem I've had for years and hopefully talking through it will help break the cycle... I seem to always fall for the same type of girl and it always ends the same way... So, if you have a type...is it possible to fall for someone who is outside of that type?

Let's start with why don’t nice guys finish last? Simple, they do not trigger a fix that your body needs. They do behave in a way which comes across as taboo to you. Your body, over the years has now become conditioned to want to experience something particular when it comes to a future mate.

First, examine your dating history... Who have you dated? What were they like? How did it end? Think about it...When you meet "that girl", deep down...you know you shouldn’t go out with her but she sparks a chemical reaction that your body likes. It’s a like a drug. In the same way that people can become addicted to pain killers, you’re now addicted to this chemical reaction. It’s pure biology....














OVERWRITING A BAD CHEMICAL ROMANCE




1. Recognition is the First Step

Once you’ve recognised what is going on....you can break the pattern sooner. If you stop it in time...then you’re in a better position to start thinking more consciously. You will be able to bring a little bit of logic into the equation. Is she what I want...or what I need? You don't always get what you want...but you should get what you need... What she wants from a relationship has to correlate with your requirements... Otherwise you grow apart instead of together!




2. Break the Habit

My grandfather told me it takes 2 weeks to create a habit...So, if you keep on saying to yourself and everyone around you, that you always fall for the wrong type of person, you’re also programming yourself to continue the same behavior. Once a program is written, it’s difficult to rewrite so it’s best to overwrite. Instead of saying “I’ll never meet miss right” think "not every frog was meant to be a prince"... You have to dig through the ruff...to get to the diamond.. She is out there and when the time is right...Love will find you!




3. Know What You Need

Ask yourself, “up until now, what’s the void I’ve been trying to fill?” What is it exactly that you’ve been getting from the "same type" you've dated over the years? What have they been giving you that you’ve needed? Each of these women has served their purpose in some way for you. What need within you have they fulfilled? This question has to be answered to break the cycle... It is hard to nail down...what you are really looking for in a person and what you've gotten out of broken relationships... So, once this is figured out...then you can get what you need from a person who is capable of giving it to you!






4. Equally Yoked

Its true, opposites do attract but sometimes like stay together... My grandmother was right when she told me that you and the person you love should be equally yoked...meaning you should have a similar moral code... Because if not...those differences become reasons to break-up instead of factors that keep you together... Sometimes the thing that draws you to a person...can end up being the very thing that comes between you.... So, if your type is not equally yoked...then you are probably wasting precious time....and the love will end way too soon...

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"Should You Hate the Player or the Game?"...

Players, cheaters, narcissists and smooth-talkers. When it comes to behaving badly, it’s up to you to change their game. I will attempt to set the record straight on today’s playing field... In the game of love, its all about going big or staying home... I was always taught...if you want it...then you have to fight for it and if you lose it...then it never belong to you...

I think this life lesson can be applied to love...Today its all about sex games and what have you done for me lately? Femmes will never admit to this but...I have heard this in private conversation.."I can do bad by myself, if she can't help me...then she can just keep stepping".

Same with studs...if we don't find you sexually attractive when we meet you...then you shouldn't take anything that happens between you seriously... I'm going to be perfectly honest...no one falls in love with conversation at first sight...so visual chemistry is very important! From a stud's perspective...if we see someone we want...depending on how bad we want her...will determine how "hard" we chase...

Same with a femme..its the kiss of death, if she ever says..."Let's just be friends"... Fellas don't waste your time...no matter what happens between you...she will always see you that way...

Ladies... "Don't chase a stud!" Honestly, think about it... That game of "chase the stud" will not end...in happily ever after... But, showing a stud you are interested and chasing her...is two different things. This is when its important...to know the rules of the dating game.

Now that I've gotten the foreplay is out of the way, let's get down to the biz - ness... There is no good reason to hate the game. If you don't play, then you can't win! And who in the hell plays by the rules, No one... So, hating the player's behavior...is probably the best bet.













Here are some reasons why you shouldn't hate the game and should put the player on notice:



1. Beware of "NEGGING"

There is one game tactic and it is called the “neg.” Negging is defined as “an ambiguous statement or seemingly accidental insult delivered to a beautiful woman you’ve just met, with the intent of actively demonstrating to her a lack of interest.” The purpose of the neg is to lower a woman’s self-esteem, in order to gain the upper hand in the dating game. That tactic is all about the player...



2. It's Not What You Do, But How You Do It

It’s not the woman that makes the difference, it’s how you deal with the woman that makes the difference between...heartbreak and a mutually beneficial situation... Make sure you get what you need from her, then if you get what you want...its just gravy.



3. Set Some Standards

If she doesn't know what she wants out of life...then she most likely she doesn't know what she wants from a relationship in the future... Goals in life is good and goals in love is "GREAT"...



4. Teasing Done Right is Flirting

She doesn't have to buy the cow but don't let her pimp your milk. Teasing just the right amount will keep her wanting more... A player will actively work to disarm you from any remaining hesitations you may have concerning her ‘bad intentions’. A player knows females enjoy talking about themselves and their feelings (even if this is not directly obvious) – a player will steer you into common areas of interest, the more topical the better. This allows her to get a feel for the person (and to categorise her) and to create synthesis between both of you in the conversation... If she tries to get you in bed on the second date...then and is angry because you want to wait...then she may not be that into you... I'm just saying...



5. Confidence is Key

I have not always been as confident as I should have been but experience is the best teacher... If you don't think you are the shit...then neither will she...so get your self-esteem on...because confidence is very "SEXY"! So always remember...that no one can play you, if you don't allow it!



6. You Are Not #1

The only time he steps up his game is when he is suspicious another male has entered the picture: It’s cool to be chased, but being chased to keep you in his possession is more about satisfying a stud’s ego(s) than working to mend a relationship.



7. Your Relationship Stays the Same

There is no progression in your relationship: If you are doing the same type of activities, having the same type of discussion and arguments month after month, it’s time to re-evaluate. If you are not building or working together in some way towards a goal, congratulations you have a relationship of convenience. Nothing wrong with clinging to what makes you feel snuggly and warm inside but at some point you will want to free yourself from the monotony and establish a relationship of substance, not comfort...


8. Doesn't Show You Off


Your apartment is the only date spot: I understand that not all of us can make it rain on every date, budgeting and saving money is very admirable, however if your dates all take place in your home something’s up. Walks in the park, a trip to the movies, or game night at a friend’s house are all budget friendly dates. If a woman is into you, your house will not be the only chilling spot.

The tips above are all tricks in the player's game box... The dating game itself doesn't require you to play games... The only reason a player decides to game...when she knows you are not the one...awareness of our emotional triggers and self-worth stops a player in their tracks. We can better equip ourselves for decision making when it comes to a relationship...if we are willing to accept some ugly dating truths...

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"What Happens When Love Is Not Enough?"...

We assume that the hardest thing in a relationship is finding the right person. The reality is that the hardest thing is staying in a relationship and making it work. Communication problems are a major source for relationship problems. People in most cases just do not know how to talk to each other. Loss of trust, confusion over whether we still love each other, constant fighting and the inability to agree on anything…are some of the cues to recognize that a relationship is having serious communication problems.

This is a subject that is very close to my heart. I’ve had my heart broken more than I care to admit...which has caused an uncertainty in my mind if I will ever find true love... I've stayed in a bad relationship hoping and believing love will see us through but sometimes…most times...love is not enough!

A mature individual is defined as a person who has a strong sense of self. He/she is able to recognize that both people in the relationship are different. This is critical because without the element of maturity, a couple can get all messed up because they lose themselves in a relationship. One can become jealous, dependent, resentful and distant. All of which can erode the reason you became a couple in the first place.


So, how do you get it back? How do you renew that spark?


1. GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILL

Good, open, and honest communication is like oil to a car. You can't make it anywhere unless you have oil and communication is equally important. No one can read your mind.. I’ve learned through experience that for a relationship to grow and prosper, likes, dislikes, desires, hopes, dreams and problems need to be expressed.



2. THE ABILITY TO CHANGE

Relationships like people are not static. They are ever changing. If one or both members in the relationship becomes rigid and resistant to needed changes the relationship could end for good..
Change we must, it is part of the human condition.



3. ABILITY TO COMPROMISE

If one person always gets his/her way, the other person is bound to feel dominated, and resentful. Finding the happy middle can provide the best of both worlds… giving and receiving.



4. KNOWING WHEN TO BACK OFF

Every one needs room to breath, room to sort out their own thoughts, feelings and problems. Know when to say when because providing a person space…gives that person the ability to see things more clearly.



5. NEVER STOP MAKING LOVE

If you are not making love anymore, then it won’t be long before you start looking for that love outside your relationship. Each member must have its emotional needs met in order to continue to grow in the relationship. If a trusting relationship is cultivated and maintained, the ability to try new adventures and take new risks are enhanced. A compassionate trusting relationship outside of the bedroom...always increases the activity in the bedroom.

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"STUDS....Is She Right For You?"

Tired of the dating game? Do you want to be with the woman of your dreams? Believe me, she's out there. Is your girlfriend a keeper or should you just sweep her away? Before you take her home to meet mom, here are a few ways to help you decide if she is "THE ONE"!

1. You deserve Someone to Love You Unconditionally

If you have to buy her love or you are always taking her out...never staying home. That's a red flag! If she really cares, sometimes she will pay or sometimes a "RED BOX" night is perfectly OK... Make sure she into you and not what you can give her...


2. Independence is Sexy

Women who have balanced lives, interests of their own and who don't depend on you are the ones who can anyone they want. Make sure she can stand on her own two feet... That she wants you and doesn't need you... Studs often want a woman to depend on them but you also need to know you can depend on her... Ride or die...Or don't apply!!!!


3. She will give You Space & Freedom

Another requirement of a femme you want to wife up is she will give you space to pursue outside interests. Relationships should not be like a 7-Eleven, open 24/7. Clinginess is the quickest route to relationship disasters. Too much space could be a sign of rockiness in relationships, from a lack of love, interest or attraction, but freedom allows studs to grow as individuals and gives them breathing room, which will be much appreciated.


4. She Stays Calm

There is no reason for studs to be afraid that their girlfriends will freak out on a daily basis. The two scenarios we hate the most: women crying for no reason, and women acting suspicious. A stud wants femme that will trust them. No one wants to be questioned and interrogated by the people that supposedly love them. If she constantly goes through your cell phone or doesn't allow you to have a boys night out...then get out and don't look back.

5. She's One Of The Guys

NOTHING IS HOTTER!!! Studs look for women who not only complement them but share their interests as well. If she's going to be your best friend, then why not do things that you enjoy together? Monday Night Football can be a great activity for two, if you're both interested in it or taking a dance class... It can't be a one-way street...Love is about sacrifice and compromise...


6. Sex is Always An Adventure with Her

Some women think that as long as they have sex from time to time, that is enough. But, a great sexual relationship should not be one-sided; you both need to make an effort to keep it exciting! When she gives up on sex...that is not a good sign. If that's the case, boredom will set in very quickly. If femmes keep studs guessing, they'll come back for more -- always. Of course, studs have to keep their woman happy too. Remember, it takes two to tango. Just always remember to dance... Loving her more and more each day or becoming a couple...will only intensify your connection!

7. Opposites Attract But Likes Stay Together

Be Honest with yourself. Ask yourself if you can give this woman what she needs in a partner. Ask her what she wants out of her life and compare that to what your aspirations are. A lot people get together and find out they have absolutely nothing in common with the person they're with. Usually a breakup is on the horizon when you make this discovery.


8. You've had Enough Time to Find Out

Everyone knows the lesbian joke..a movie and a Uhaul...Sometimes times people meet, find serious chemistry and jump into a serious relationship too soon. This is not a good idea. Ideally you should know your girl for at least a year before moving in with her; and for at least two years before marrying. The reason for this is because it's impossible to think of all the things to ask someone in a short amount of time, and also because you need to see them at their best and their worst. You need to see them when their bored and when they are sort of sick of your face in the morning. In short, you need to replicate what it will be like if you get serious before you take serious steps...

9. Your Friends and Family Think She Is...

This will not always be the case... You know if you have a crazy undependable family but getting along with the people that are important to you...is critical!!! These are people that know you and care about you and can see that you are blinded by love. And the truth is, despite everything you may think you know or feel about love, long lasting relationships endure mainly because the two parties involved are not just in love, but are in like as well. Think about it. If you are going to wake up every morning with someone, talk to them, be with them. Eat with them. And all the other things couples do on a regular daily basis, you better darn will really like them a lot...

10. You think of Her Needs before Your Own

This one's a little tricky, but it does make sense in the end. Say something comes up, like you need or want something and so does she. What are your immediate thoughts on a resolution? Do you try to figure out a way to talk her into your way of seeing things, or jump to the other side to see how you can best accommodate her needs? People that are truly ready for a long term commitment choose the latter. And this does include your girl as well.

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5 THINGS EVERY STUD SHOULD KNOW ABOUT HOW A FEMME THINKS....

Thank you ladies for the feedback! Fellas, do you sometimes feel you and your girl are speaking a different language? Do you wonder what makes her tick? From telling you how to dress to wanting you to wife her up, here's what you need to know about a femme's minds.

1. Focused on the Problem at Hand

Femme's don't always need a stud to fix it, while they enjoy your perspective and sometimes may pull from your advice, they are capable of solving most problems. Sometimes they just need you to listen. Not to offer any advice, not to inject an opinion...simply to listen.

2. Hard-Wired to be Suspicious

Studs may feel they are simply admiring another girl's beauty but in a femme's mind...you are disrespecting her...when you check out a girl in her presence. By checking out another girl, you plant a seed of suspension. Femmes doesn't mind you looking...but don't look too long and never comment on it...because to a femme needs to know she is all you need... At the same time, femmes feel they have the right to look at other women because she is counting her blessing not comparing you to someone else... Your confidence in what you have with her...only makes her love you more... YES, SHE WANTS HER CAKE AND EAT IT TOO!


3. Nurturing by Nature

Femme's love their studs. Femmes want to do things to show their appreciation and concern. Often times "appreciation" is confused with "babying or even nagging"... Please understand she only wants the best for you. Stud's need to understand that to nurture is in a femme's DNA.

4. Do Not Need to be Rescued

Save the "captain save a hoe" routine for your jump off. Once you've made a femme your woman know that she is capable of doing anything that needs done. She wants you and doesn't need you. Femmes want studs to believe and understand...she's got your back. No, she doesn't want to get dirty by changing a tire or from mowing the lawn but if push came to shove...She's got it. Save the fairy tales for bedtime...

5. Loves to Feel Desired

Fellas, studs love to feel needed and femmes love to feel wanted... She doesn't spend hours getting ready just to annoy you. Fashion, shoes, pretty things make them feel sexy! A femme loves to feel pretty everyday and is why they love to shop...so they can look good for you... Like some studs will too much money on watches or on their car...femmes will spend whatever it takes to make sure they look good from head to toe...

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"12 THINGS A FEMME WANTS FROM A STUD BUT WON'T ASK"...

When you look for lifetime partner, what she wants in a woman is not the only thing that you should know. If you want a healthy relationship, you must also know what she wants but will never ask for in a relationship. Here are a few suggestions that may help you figure it out...

1. She really wants you to hangout with her and your friends together...

2. Kiss her unexpectedly. She wants to know how you feel without having to ask...

3. If it seems like there is something wrong, ask her- if she denies something being wrong, it means she doesnt want to talk about it – so just hug her...

4. Even if she looks bad one day...tell her she’s beautiful...

5. If there is hair in her face, move it out of her face and then kiss her...passionatley and gently...

6. Slow dance with no music. Give romance a chance...

7. Open doors for her, walk her to her car (without her asking) - it makes her feel protected, plus it never hurts to act like a gentleman...

8. Give her one of your sweatshirts. So you are always with her even if its just in spirit...

9. While in the movies, put your arm around her and then she will automatically put her head on your shoulder, then lean in and tilt her chin up and kiss her lightly...

10. Hold her hand in public...

11. Kiss her in the rain if you ever get the chance....

12. Take her shopping and don't complain about how long it takes...

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"LOVE GAMES... CAN YOU TRULY BE FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS?"

As it becomes increasingly harder to find the one, more single ladies are indulging in physical relationships with relatively fewer consequences; sex is now more casual than ever. The beauty of this situation is its simplicity -- if both sides are sincere going into this, then both will know that it's solely about sex. Using each other in a good way, however, may not be as easy as it sounds because removing all the emotional baggage from sex is hard especially if you started off as friends but potentially...sex with no strings attached can be very enjoyable.







1. “Is it possible to separate your feeling from sex?”


Usually this tends to back fire because one of you is going into this secretly hoping for more, then the problem of dishonesty arises, and that person is probably in for a nasty disappointment when it doesn't play out that way. It may be possible to separate your feelings from sex but if it goes on for too long then any human being is bound to start having feelings for their sex buddy. Keep it short!

2. “Keep you arrangement a secret.”


People are messy by nature. Don’t allow the judgment of others ruin your agreement. One of the keys to being successful friends with benefits agreement is to keep it discreet. Even if you're 100% sure no one would care, do the classy thing and keep it between you and her. Don't brag about the situation to outside friends.

3. “Set the ground rules from the beginning and know when to quit.”

One of you may become jealous if the other person starts dating someone else seriously. It can be very difficult to separate emotions from sex, but if you want to be friends with benefits, that is exactly what you have to steel yourself to do. Decide if one of you meets someone you want to date "seriously" then you should agree to stop having sex. This will set expectations and prevent one of you from being hurt down the line.


4. “Know you are risking your friendship.”

In the worst-case scenario, the blurring of the lines between friend and lover precipitated by being friends with benefits can ruin a friendship. Unfortunately, this is a fairly frequent outcome, because once you've crossed the physical line, the old dynamic between some friends is lost forever.

5. “Could harm your future relationship.”

Hooking up with friends can potentially hurt a future relationships with other women. If your current girlfriend finds out (and somehow, they always do) that you were intimate with one of your female friends, she will instantly become jealous and suspicious of your relationship with your friend/ex-lover.


It is always better to think it through before entering into a sexual relationship with anyone. Take a few proactive steps to make sure that the benefits don’t destroy the relationship.

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5 THINGS EVERY FEMME SHOULD KNOW ABOUT HOW STUDS THINK....

Do you ever wonder what your partner is thinking? Why does she reacts to the same situation differently? From her wandering eye to her desire to mate for life, here's what you need to know about a stud's minds.

1. Focused on Solutions

The empathy system of the stud's brain does respond when someone is upset or expressing a problem. But the "fix-it" region quickly takes over. As a result similar to men, studs tend to be more concerned with fixing a problem than showing empathy.

2. Hard-Wired to Check out Women

Medical research from Canada found that high testosterone (Some studs have shown increased levels) impairs the impulse-control region of the brain. Studs check out women as if on "auto-pilot." They often forget about the woman once she is out of their visual field.

3. Territorial

The "defend my turf" brain area is larger in studs than their femme counterparts. This means they are much more likely to become violent when faced with a threat to their love, life or territory.

4. Matures over Time

The two fundamental differences why studs mature much slower than femmes - for their entire lives they are mostly focused on the end result of an issue much more than they are the issue at hand. The second part is they often have short attention spans.

5. Need to Dominate

Most studs feel the need to be in charge (even if they aren't in charge). They want to feel that they are doing things because they want their partner to be happy, not because they have to do it.

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