by: C.D. Kirven
"It was a mistake," you said. But the cruel thing was…it felt like the mistake was mine, for trusting you." — David Levithan
Who are you really? Only four short words but one can feel the genuine surprise and heartfelt pain that only surfaces when a person is betrayed by someone they believed they could trust. The truth is that when we bury our hearts to escape betrayal from others, we actually betray ourselves and sabotage our ability to deeply connect with anyone. Finding out that Paula Books is actually Bill Graber, a 58 year-old former Air Force veteran, imploded into popular disgust within the lesbian community at the continuing hand-to-mouth existence of a straight man telling lesbian women how to feel or what to believe.
In an apology to its readers, one of the other owners, Linda Carbonell, wrote: "The past three days have been devastating for all of us on Lez Get Real.’Paula Brooks' has been a part of our lives for three years now.” Mr. Graber told the Associated Press news agency he set up “Lez Get Real” to advance the gay and lesbian cause. He said he felt he would not be taken seriously as a straight man. "Lez Get Real was not meant to be deceitful or con anyone," said Graber.
My question for Bill Graber is; “Who died and made you king of anything?” You need to know Bill…every woman doesn’t need a big straight man to come in and save them. What kind of man could do that: nurture, befriend and ultimately care for a group of people, then betray them? Graber claimed he was assisting our movement to which he was sympathetic. Of course, if his fellow bloggers or community activists had known this at the time, they would have regarded it all very differently.
"Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity." — Martin Luther King Jr.
I wrote for “Lez Get Real” so I’m very hurt by this realization but oddly not surprised to find that Paula Brooks wasn’t who she said she was because she was a puppet master…secretly integrating her/his beliefs into the articles of other writers demanding you agree or risk being publicly degraded. Anyone who knows me…knows two things, I’m always up for a good fight and I’m not afraid to stand up for what I believe in. Today is no different… Now that we are done with the shock and aw, we need to put this dishonesty in perspective. Indeed, it seems clear that the aftermath of Graber’s tangled web is such that we will lead to us always question our community’s story tellers. Skeptical of our news barriers and ultimately becoming disinterested in supporting stories passed on by bloggers because of the recklessness and selfishness acts of Bill Graber. This unfortunate reality will need to become a part of our social consciousness.
We need a subtle process of reinterpretation of who our leaders and who disseminates the news to our community. We must unmask the motives of those who proclaim so freely and come barring gifts claiming to be an ally…but only succeed in polluting the blogosphere with their own political agenda trying to determine what the LGBT movement needs to move forward in accessing the rights we’ve been denied thus far. Also, I must remember these betrayals are experiences that teach you valuable lessons in life.
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter." — Martin Luther King Jr.
Indeed, it seems clear that the aftermath of the affair was such that the chances of its coming to light were substantial. It's a level of thoughtlessness and egocentricity that probably shouldn't surprise us but we still do find shocking. "This is the beginning of a new day. We have been given this day to use as an opportunity to retake control of our own path to freedom. We can waste it or use it for good. What you do today is important because you are exchanging a day of your life for it. When tomorrow comes, this day will be gone forever; in its place is something that we have left behind . . . let it be something good"
"We talk on principle, but we act on interest."--Walter Savage Landor
We must move forward and start a new…. Mr. Graber and his views chose to play nonsense political games…that was in no way helpful to our cause. However, there is nothing to regret, and now that we know very well about his true personalities and who he is… We can take back our good will and power…to reshape the message this scandal says about our community. This too shall pass…We only get stronger from the obstacles we overcome… The fight has only just begun!
1 comments:
Brilliant! I relate Mel Nathan
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