We assume that the hardest thing in a relationship is finding the right person. The reality is that the hardest thing is staying in a relationship and making it work. Communication problems are a major source for relationship problems. People in most cases just do not know how to talk to each other. Loss of trust, confusion over whether we still love each other, constant fighting and the inability to agree on anything…are some of the cues to recognize that a relationship is having serious communication problems.
This is a subject that is very close to my heart. I’ve had my heart broken more than I care to admit...which has caused an uncertainty in my mind if I will ever find true love... I've stayed in a bad relationship hoping and believing love will see us through but sometimes…most times...love is not enough!
A mature individual is defined as a person who has a strong sense of self. He/she is able to recognize that both people in the relationship are different. This is critical because without the element of maturity, a couple can get all messed up because they lose themselves in a relationship. One can become jealous, dependent, resentful and distant. All of which can erode the reason you became a couple in the first place.
So, how do you get it back? How do you renew that spark?
1. GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILL
Good, open, and honest communication is like oil to a car. You can't make it anywhere unless you have oil and communication is equally important. No one can read your mind.. I’ve learned through experience that for a relationship to grow and prosper, likes, dislikes, desires, hopes, dreams and problems need to be expressed.
2. THE ABILITY TO CHANGE
Relationships like people are not static. They are ever changing. If one or both members in the relationship becomes rigid and resistant to needed changes the relationship could end for good..
Change we must, it is part of the human condition.
3. ABILITY TO COMPROMISE
If one person always gets his/her way, the other person is bound to feel dominated, and resentful. Finding the happy middle can provide the best of both worlds… giving and receiving.
4. KNOWING WHEN TO BACK OFF
Every one needs room to breath, room to sort out their own thoughts, feelings and problems. Know when to say when because providing a person space…gives that person the ability to see things more clearly.
5. NEVER STOP MAKING LOVE
If you are not making love anymore, then it won’t be long before you start looking for that love outside your relationship. Each member must have its emotional needs met in order to continue to grow in the relationship. If a trusting relationship is cultivated and maintained, the ability to try new adventures and take new risks are enhanced. A compassionate trusting relationship outside of the bedroom...always increases the activity in the bedroom.
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